Let me start this by saying that neither of the things listed in this title have been going exactly as expected for me over the last 9 months. I suppose I’ll start with pregnancy first since it seems to really change everything your world. Things you use to do, outfits you use to wear, your sleep and daily diet to name just a few. Like, think you can still squeeze into that adorable 1960’s dress suit you bought two sizes bigger on purpose last month? Wrong. Think you can fight through cravings every time your friends talk about bomb cheesy dishes? Also wrong. I got really tired of fighting what my body was craving and consumed what I can only estimate to be about 4 pounds of cheese within a 3 months span. If there is anything I could say to newly pregnant women, it would be to prepare yourself as pregnancy is a fucking trip. It will do things to your body that you could never even fathom and all you can do is sit back and mouth “what the fuck? Was my pussy that long before?” It probably wasn’t but hey what can you do about it now? It’s not all stretched vags and buckets of discharge though! It’s kind of interesting to feel your kid get bigger and stronger. It’s exciting to see them bounce around on the ultrasound screen and feel their little hands and feet move against the inside of your belly. It does take some getting use to though as I felt really strange about a person I don’t even know inhabiting my body. People would and still try to lovingly ignore that fact that this little alien is taking over your insides. They try to lovingly distract you with “ Oh it’s a miracle. Oh you should be happy, it’s a blessing.” Don’t get me wrong, this I’m sure is true for all mothers but it disregards the fact that it takes some women a really really really long time to adapt to your every changing body. It has been a total mind fuck for me and it’s still something I’m getting on board with even though I have 3 weeks to go until the arrival of Maxwell. I wish that it was more socially acceptable to talk about the discomforts of pregnancy without feeling like we might be judged or called ungrateful for this gift of motherhood. I am blessed that I have had that opportunity with some of my mother friends but still find it to be something people try to silence. Also, not a lot of people are really empathetic to the fact that your body sometimes feels god awful (or all the time depending on your pregnancy). Even if you’re blessed not to be sick every second of the day, you often feel bad about the way your body looks or at least this has been the case for myself. No judgement if you have had amazing pregnancies and have felt like the glowing goddess you are!
I have just found that I have struggled with going from a size 2 to a size 12. Nothing that makes me feel confident and cute fits. It’s an awful feeling especially if you’ve struggled with body issues when you weren’t pregnant. All of my vintage clothing doesn’t fit. When I say ALL, I mean ALL! There is not one god damn thing in my 4+ year collection of vintage that I can get over my head. With that being said, I did what any normal vintage girl would do and just went shopping for new shit (XD). I do want to say that even though I’m not able to fit into my favorites now, I have enjoyed doing maternity outfits of the day post on the IG and have gotten a lot of love from my followers which has been really nice. I think if anything, it has taught me that we are in a marvelous time where many different styles, body types, and people can be celebrated and appreciated! It has also helped to find other vintage pregnant ladies and find what styles work for their bodies and beautiful bumps! It really helps to be able to see that just because you’re pregnant you don’t have to give up being fashionable. Life doesn’t have to be all sweat pants and messy buns although I will admit that you definitely will have those days. Below are some adorable vintage mamas (and myself) still rocking their vintage fashion:
@amywadeartistry looking like a total goodness in this blue and green vintage floral maxi dress!
@tinaimel rocking an amazing vintage coat and a comfy $7 nursing bra she found on ebay! Heck yeah!
@allyvintage wearing simple but chic separates with a gorgeous navy blue fur lined coat!
@thevixenkittyvintage Me in a 1970’s Chas L. Lewis maxi dress and Sweedish Hasbeens.
The last thing I would say I really struggle with is getting back to my vegan roots. Like I said before, sometimes your body just craves certain things and there’s no shame in that! I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure I had at least a calcium or iron deficiency with this pregnancy. I went from not eating cheese or dairy to eating a whole lot of it. It would make my stomach hurt because It had been so long since I had eaten anything with milk. It was rough to say the least. In addition to that, I tend to struggle with depression a lot more when I’m not eating plant based meals. That paired with my hormones literally made spiral down and I literally have no idea how I survived the early months. I think my saving grace was probably my support system. I am unsure if I would be in better spirits today without them. I’m 36 weeks currently and still struggle with intense feelings of sadness, lack of motivation, general weepiness but I don’t get consumed by it as much. I think that a lot of this has to do with me integrating more plant based things in my diet. I cannot get enough of tofu, avocado, blue berries, strawberries, and vegan pizza bites! I am so looking forward to finding more fast and easy vegan receipts for my new journey to mom hood and bouncing back to my best state of mind with time! I think it’s easy to be so hard on yourself when you’re use to living a strict regimented lifestyle in the beginning but the more I grow to love my alien (Maxwell), the more I recognize that my body was doing it’s job of collecting what it needs to make a healthy new human. Women are amazing creatures and thinking about just that blows my freaking mind!
Although this pregnancy has been a life changing experience, I have decided that this baby will be my only.I’m not sure that I could or would want to do this again but I want to end this post by admiring all you ladies that have many babies! I’m in awe of your ability to be strong dedicated mothers and I truly think ya’ll are the bad asses of the world. I look up to you and everything you do to keep your families happy, healthy and safe! Comment below and tell me what your pregnancy or motherhood journey been like for you. How was it the same or different than you thought it would be? What do you wish you could go back and tell yourself? I can’t wait to hear your experiences! <3